#nopunishments #norewards #noshame #noblame #notalktalktalk
I know you're really struggling.
Frustrated and impatient.
Letting yourself down each time you lose it with your little guy.
You long to do this parenting thing without burning out your own insides because the frustration is like a fire inside you.
You’re working hard to raise your family, keep the household running, maintain your own identity, and the juggling act has worn you out.
It feels like everything and everyone is getting short changed.
This just isn’t the family life you imagined for yourself, and you feel like you’re to blame.
And what about your boy? Who you love dearly. You're worried.
How do you parent him so that he grows into a respectful man who listens well?
How do you protect him from the toxic messages of masculinity flooding the media outlets?
How do you raise your son to be resilient in the face of life's promised hard times?
And in the short run, how do you get him to listen? To share? To sleep? To be kind?
WITHOUT LOSING IT YOURSELF AND FEELING LIKE CRAP AFTER.
I’m here to tell you that there’s lots you can do to stack the deck in his – and your – favor!
I know it doesn’t seem like it should be so hard, but the reality is that having kids changed your life in ways you couldn’t possibly have imagined, and there are very few societies that support parents well. And now the pandemic!
• a son who is aggressive, fearful, or who has lots of big, loud feelings
• a son who simply doesn’t cooperate
• a son who takes up all the air time in the family (at the expense of his siblings)
• a son who’s struggling in the classroom
• bedtime and sleep issues (and, therefore, your own sleep deprivation)
• kids who “don’t like each other” or aren’t getting along
• a son who is shy or has lots of fears
Or maybe your challenges are:
• an identity crisis (Do you even remember who you were before kids?)
• your partner not being on the same parenting page (Honestly, that’s the truth for most of us.)
• not knowing when to set limits or how
• yelling (You’re doing way too much of it, and embarrassed by what the neighbors must think.)
• time-outs, star charts, and consequences (They’re not working and you hate giving them anyway, but you’re at wits end and just don’t know what else to do!)
You’re smart. You’re a hard worker. Where did things go wrong? How does everyone else keep it all together? (You know deep down they don’t, but that feeling can kill you, can’t it!)
If you’ve participated in my free 10-Day Reconnect, read my book, or watched my videos, you’ve likely had some real wins... And then quietly settled back into old ways.
WHAT IF I told you that if you join us and commit to learning and to using our community support:
• Your boy will thrive
• You'll feel confident and proud of your parenting
• You'll be able to focus your goals on some of those dreams you had before parenthood...
What if yelling was the occasional slip, rather than the norm?
What if your home was full of silliness and laughter?
What if you felt relaxed and happy with your boy, hopeful for his future?
What if for each parenting challenge you faced, several solutions popped into your head, and you actually had the where with all to implement them?
What if you knew what to do when your child refused to get dressed, insisted on a 25th bedtime story, demanded a third bowl of ice cream, hit his brother or sister, called you stupid, or refused to participate in Zoom school?
What if you felt held by a community of parents who NEVER judged you, and ALWAYS offered support?
These things are true for me, and I have created The Playhouse so that all these things will be true for you too!
- Information, but not too much. I know you don’t have time to read stacks of books. Instead, how about a classroom filled with short audios or videos that carry you step-by-step along my success path to peaceful parenting?
- Community support. Stay in close touch with other parents with similar goals through our own private Facebook group. Here, you’ll find a safe space to ask questions and share what you’re learning and how you’re feeling. I foster a feeling of acceptance and hopefulness. You will never be judged. There will be no critical comments allowed. Period.
- Accountability. In our FB group and in our new Growth Groups, you will set tiny weekly goals, and we will support you in achieving them. Over time, this will lead to huge meaningful change in your family!
- Expert guests. Each month I invite a special guest to share their expertise. The recordings are available for you to watch over and over. Together, we'll brainstorm topics... Food & health, technology & media use, sex education, money, school, supporting boys with special needs, redefining masculinity, parenting with a partner, self-care, play, sibling struggles, confronting racism, the spectrum of gender... The sky's the limit!
- Ask-me-anything sessions. Every week – not monthly (like I say in the video) – I meet you live on Zoom, so you can ask and get answers to all your parenting questions. Sessions are recorded, so no worries if you can't make it live.
- Discounted one-on-one coaching. Only available to community members.
- A good time! When times are tough, it’s easy to feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. I’m going to lift that feeling right off of you, and we’re going to have some good laughs! We're doing important and hard work, but that doesn't mean we can't have some fun!
The Playhouse is a committed community of parents like you who are ready to do what it takes to become your boy's best advocate and shift his negative behaviors through connection.
“I am having more and more moments of being the parent I always thought I'd be.”
“This group. It has literally changed life drastically (for the better of course) for me and my family. ”
“I hopped around from resource to resource until I somehow stumbled upon Tosha's work. And let me tell you, Tosha is the real deal and this community will change your life. Guaranteed.”
“Ive never been in such a beautifully held community.”
“My son is now incredibly happy, at ease, confident, independent, loves school, and is thriving in all areas of his life. The loving and kind child who had been buried underneath the anxiety and rough edges has emerged.”
“Being here has been life changing. I'm a better person and a better human because of what I have learned here.”
“The entire atmosphere of our family life has shifted dramatically.”
“Tosha's combination of background in women's studies and her skills with boys and men are revolutionary. She is now championing both sexes and leading us! So powerful!. Greatest work on Earth. Earth changing!”
I want you to feel hopeful about your son’s ability to make good choices, solve conflicts peacefully, conquer his fears, and reach his full potential. I have lived in that place of worry and fear for my sons’ future, and it sucked! I made it my business to learn all I could about parenting, and to get the hell out of that hopeless place as quickly as possible. There’s nothing special about me. True, I've written a book, coached loads of parents, and shared my knowledge on many a podcast and online summit, and in newspapers and magazines online and off. But I don’t have any super powers. I just discovered some simple tools that allowed me to move my boys beyond their aggressive behaviors. And I felt so amazed by the process that I became a certified trainer of Hand in Hand Parenting and began helping other parents do the same. I now know that my boys are just fine, and if I can spread the message that boys are good, and that it is our responsibility to learn how to support them well, life for boys (and with boys) will be sooo much better. This knowledge has empowered me to teach parents what’s really going on with our boys, and how to meet them where they are, hold high standards for them, and hold them close as they make their way through their struggles. I look around me at the men I meet and I don’t see a lot of joy. Many seem to have fallen into jobs/careers/roles that others expected of them- either their families or cultures. Most do not make spending time with their families a priority – either because they’re carrying huge financial burdens, or they don’t know how to play, be still, be close, relax. Many are without networks of close friends, are lonely and unhappy, and use alcohol, drugs or porn to numb the pain, rather than express their feelings fully. I don’t want this future for my boys or yours. I read the newspaper and it’s full of men perpetuating all sorts of violence. I believe we can do better for our boys. That does not have to be their future. Knowledge is really power, and together we can harness that power and make real change in the lives of our boys, our families, and our world! The future holds much beauty and goodness! I hope you’ll join me on my journey to create a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time.
- Want to stop yelling & lose it less
- Are worried about your boy
- Are done with punishing and bribing, but don’t know what else to try
- Know what you need to do, but just can't do it
- Love your boy to death, but are struggling to enjoy him
- Feel alone and want real community
- Appreciate theory, but really need practical solutions - like yesterday!
- Have let your own needs slide because all your energy is going towards damage control
- Are generally overwhelmed and not having much fun parenting
But you also
- Believe that change is possible, even though it might not feel that way
- Are committed to working hard to get the results you want
- Are willing to experiment with new strategies, even though some may be outside your comfort zone
- Are brave, forward thinking, and ready to smile and laugh again!
Lose it less
Stop your boy's less-than-spectacular behaviors
Parent with confidence